Making your kids eat healthy and exercise

I began my "successful" weight loss journey a little less than two years ago. And here's a bit of what I've taken from it for myself AND my family.

Being morbidly obese I was basically a prisoner and I had NO real idea how much it affected my kids growing up.

I'd be too tired or too emotionally drained to go anywhere that we could, and when we could I'd often opt against it... or do the easiest thing possible - just drop them off! We'd go to the parks and stuff and I would love letting them play... but me? I'd sit in the car or sit on a bench and just give them their time to do it... without me really being there the way I should have been.

It wasn't until my son was 9 when I realized how much I had only destroyed myself, but I was destroying him too. He was getting fat. He was lazy. He enjoyed sitting and playing video games all the time and I didn't mind because that was the easiest thing for ME!

Pretty pathetic.

When I was preparing for weight loss surgery we made a trip to the grocery store to find out what foods I would need to eat after wards. I needed to find low fat, sugar free / low sugar options and it absolutely blew my mind how truly difficult it was to find these things. EVERYTHING we were accustomed too - was bad for me. It didn't take long for me to realize they were not just bad for me, but also bad for my child. After years of believing it wasn't "entirely my fault", I quickly realized I had always had the power to make better choices... but I was ignorant. I couldn't believe what an asshole I had been.

My weight loss journey went from being about me to being about "us" in a very short amount of time.

As I educated myself I also took the time to educate my child, because I was determined to let my changes have a positive affect on him too.

We discussed the surgery, what it does, and how it'll be successful. We discussed the changes I had to make - and why I had to make them.

When explaining how the sleeve surgery makes my stomach smaller so I could eat less food, we discussed how big a "normal" person's stomach is and how much a "normal" person is able (or should) eat in a normal setting.

"Make a fist" that's how big your stomach is and if you eat more than that, you're really eating too much!

MINDS WERE BLOWN!

We talked, and laughed, about how much we over ate, and how much garbage we were really putting inside of our bodies because we had never put my thought or effort into "nutrition". We were both very amazed.

We talked about serving sizes, how fats and sugars affect our bodies, we talked about all the different kinds of vitamins and protein and how our body needs them and what different things do for us, and we used a word we really hadn't used much before...

"Moderation"

We started having discussions about ways to help me be successful and coming up with ideas and tricks that were something that "I" would need but that my son would also do to support me and to be more healthy himself.

It was then I started realizing how some very little changes would have a VERY big impact on all of us. I needed not only to change my way of life and my mindset, but I needed these changes to set a better example for my kid. Not only did I want to lose weight, but I didn't want my son to end up being 30 years old and weighing 300 or even 400 lbs like me. So I was absolutely determined.

It was very important to me to not punish my child or make the changes about him. I didn't want at all, ever, in any way to make him feel bad about himself or the lifestyle he had learned from me... but we needed to change and he was completely on board with it so I was very lucky! It wasn't always easy and some days we both still forget and indulge more than we should have, but that's ok... you learn and continue to learn and when you make mistakes you learn from them too!

We never used the word "diet". He was 9... he didn't need to "diet". I just needed to change the way he was eating because everything he was eating - was my responsibility.

We all did it. We'd grab a bag of chips and carry it out to the living room and watch TV and sit and snack until they were gone or we got up and found something else to do. We'd go to the buffet and eat as much as we could to make it worth the money. We'd get a pack of oreos and sit and they'd be gone in a day. We'd get McDonalds and even my 9 year old would get a normal meal (not a kids meal) because he didn't usually care about the toy... what he really wanted were LARGE fries and a LARGE drink. We'd get a foot long instead of a 6 inch at subway because it was only a buck more for twice as much food! We'd get the biggest size because it was usually the most "logical" decision... only 20 cents more, why not... it only makes sense right!?

It was all wrong.

It amazes me however, almost 2 years into this how much we've changed and how easy it was to do so. It did take work and effort and time but it has been soooo worth it!

Chips - Take only as much as you need. If you're having chips DO NOT take the bag out of the kitchen, instead put a handful of chips in a bowl or on a plate and eat only that much. This has become an effortless notion, now it's habit and a GOOD one too! We buy chips maybe once every few weeks and a bag, which would have only lasted an afternoon in the past, now lasts several days if not a week or longer. Hell, we're even throwing partial bags away because they become stale before we finish them off!

Sweets - If the serving size is 2 cookies then only eat two cookies. If the serving size is 1/4 of the candy bar, you eat 1/4 of the candy bar and save the rest for another time. If the serving size of the tub of ice cream in the fridge is 1/2 a cup, eat 1/2 a cup! These things are not nutrition... they are a treat! They are not something to put in your mouth to eat if you're "hungry" and need nourishment, it's something to eat when you would like to enjoy a "sweet treat".

I'm a strong believer in "out of sight, out of mind". If you have a pack of oreos or a box of nutty bars on the cupboard next to the coffee pot, chances are you're going to eat them. If you don't.. then chances are you're going to be more likely to grab a handful of grapes, an apple, or a banana instead.

The most important part of this is not buying them frequently in the first place.We will NEVER EVER EVER buy certain foods again, like pop tarts... we've found better options we enjoy just as much and they're disgustingly unhealthy.

Soda/Pop, Sugary Drinks - they're sooooo bad for us! Even diet soda is awful for your body. It's not necessary and there are plenty of other options that are just as, if not more, delicious and enjoyable. We started buying cases of water instead of cases of pop and this was actually a VERY easy change to make. NOTHING satisfies thirst like water anyway! There are actually TONS of sugar free - no calorie beverages that are readily available for us if water is just not what we want at the time... but after 2 years of "healthier choices" my son will grab water instinctively because that has become his beverage of choice!

When we go bike riding, or spending a day at the amusement park, or a day at the beach, or go roller skating, etc... we drink water. Your body NEEDS it. You NEED to be hydrated. It's so cheap and easy it's just a normal thing for us now... and in most cases it's FREE!!!

I still let my son get a small soda or slushy at the gas station or convenience store during the summer on occasion, he's a kid he deserves it... but we do so only on days and at times when we're very active. I don't have to make a big production out of it, it's a treat he gets when I feel it's appropriate and that makes it more enjoyable for him because he's not getting it ALL THE TIME. If we're on our way home from a day at the beach and I stop to get gas and he asks "can I get a drink?" I'll say yes... but instead of the 44 oz he gets the 20 or 32 oz. He doesn't mind at all and it's suddenly more enjoyable because it's something he doesn't get as often!

Dinners... oh man what a dick I was making the foods I made and damn was I lazy!

It was always so easy to stop at Little Caesars, Taco Bell, Subway, or Mc Donalds... seemed like a cheap and easy option.

It's not.

Those banquet Salisbury steak dinners were an easy option too. Prepacked, all you gotta do is stick it in the oven or microwave and BOOM - dinner is done. Hamburger helper is simple, and sooo delicious. Hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. A few pounds of hamburger, a jar of spaghetti sauce, and a box of spaghetti with a big ass loaf of garlic bread in the oven. Instant potatoes. Frozen dinners. Prepackaged dinners. Fast Food. Tacos... the kids LOVE tacos and they're so easy too!

Fuck. I. Was. So. Lazy.

I really don't like to cook. It's not easy, it takes a lot of time.  But now I can cook good food, we have left overs all the time, and those left overs turn into meals for later either in the fridge or the freezer.

I try to make meals that are not just good for me, but good for my entire family. We still eat our beloved spaghetti and tacos often... we're not going to give them up, but I'll be damned if I stop at Taco Bell for those beefy five layer burritos and that taco 12 pack ever again.

The most ironic thing, to me, is... we're saving money on food.

The most important part is not so much what we eat, but how much we eat. We've started eating dinner at the table EVERY NIGHT... we eat slower because we're engaged in conversation... we're not finishing our plates if we're not hungry, we're putting our leftovers aside in case we get hungry again later. I cannot even express how proud I get when my son stands up and says "I'm going to put this in the fridge/microwave in case I get hungry again later."

We still enjoy foods that aren't the best for us... but in MODERATION. We'll still stop and get a pizza once every few weeks... we'll stop on occasion and get that burger and fries (not a large though!)... we'll have ice cream on movie night... we'll eat that big ass bucket of popcorn when we go to the movies and share a box of sour patch kids... but for the most part we are healthy.

We bake a lot of chicken, eat fresh and frozen veggies, we have healthier sides and we "hold" all the garbage that we don't NEED.

There's SOOOO much you can do with chicken it's like the most versatile thing you can possible do. I'll post again later with some ideas on food and recipes that we've started enjoying but for now, lets skip past the "what to eats" and go right into getting off your lazy ass and doing something with your kids.

Exercise... wow... how hard is it to get off our asses and do SOMETHING? When you're fat and depressed... it can be pretty damn hard! I had 100 reasons not to... and I regret that SO MUCH now.

I cannot even begin to express how much of a positive affect exercise has not only on us physically but mentally as well. But let me express my biggest discovery and revelation... as a parent you cannot CANNOT expect your kids to be active and exercise without doing so yourself. You have to LEAD by EXAMPLE.

You cant simply say "do it" and expect miracles to happen... you CANNOT tell your child to get off the video games and computer and go outside and play while you sit on your ass playing video games and spending your time at your computer... they'll resent being outside and they'll think you're an idiot. Besides, what's more enjoyable than spending time with your child/children doing something special? Well... I suppose for a lot of people there's a lot of things, but for me there's nothing I want more than to make up for lost time and enjoy the little bit of time I have left with them before they're grown and I can barely get them to come over once a week for dinner.

Sure, there are going to be rainy and cold days when money is tight and the computer and video games come in handy... but that's where that word I mentioned before comes into play...

MODERATION

I can understand for some the list of activities I'm going to put here are unrealistic... lets just say this list is ideally for people who have three things... a vehicle, a little bit of money - NOT A LOT, and a desire to get off your ass and enjoy things with your family / kids.

These are the things that WE do as a family or that my son Robert and I do together.

1. Day at the beach. Playing / Swimming... In most cases this is free... I'm in Michigan so I suppose this is something easiest for me as we personally have Lake Michigan an hour away and plenty of little lakes with public beaches and playgrounds in every direction... one of which we can actually ride our bikes to.

2. Nature walks... we not only have lakes and beaches but we have lots of parks and wooded areas with trails we can walk on. It sucks when it's really hot and mosquitoes are bad so we opt against it sometimes, but in the spring and fall (and on not so hot summer days/evenings)... it's amazing!

3. Bike rides... we will ride our bikes all over just for the hell of it... even in the summer when it's cooled down in the evenings we will just go and get lost riding around our neighborhood... or make it have some sort of purpose / reward by riding somewhere specific like the frozen yogurt place or grocery store to grab a "few things" we need rather than drive the car.

4. Pokemon Go... this incorporates walking and bike riding for us... of course you need a smart phone to do this, and we're fortunate enough that my kids each have one too... but this has given us the desire to explore more parks and more places just for the purpose of "catching them all" without paying a penny to play! Another one we did, but lost interest in when Pokemon came out was Geocaching... seriously was like treasure hunting and we loved it! It's still something we do when we're in new areas, but because we've found all of the geocaches in our area, there's not much for us personally.

5. Walk the dogs... I know not everyone has a dog, but I have heard of many nutritionists suggesting individuals wanting to lose weight to get one. We have three... so we definitely get a lot of enjoyment out of playing with them and walking them around the neighborhood... but sometimes it's really hard because quite honestly we got some of the worst possible breeds you could get when you're ignorant on how to train them properly!

6. Tennis... we literally spent less than $20 and got a few rackets at the consignment shop up the road and bought a few balls at Walmart. We go play about once a week. He doesn't like any other sports and he really wasn't all that keen on Tennis at the start, but now he's grown to enjoy it... we're not good at it... we spend most of our time chasing balls we hit too hard or miss... but it makes us laugh - A LOT - and that's where the effortless exercise comes into play.

7. Dancing... we'll kick on some music and just act goofy for 10-15 minutes while cleaning the house or just for the hell of it.

8. Cleaning the house... it's not FUN but it's productive and we always have a reward afterwards (aside from the pleasant reward of having a clean house) such as movie night, or game night (board games or card games at the table... no electronics!). The kids vacuum, put away dishes, carry their dirty laundry downstairs, put their laundry away, etc.

9. Yard work / Gardening... if you have that dog mentioned above, then you've got shit to pick up (literally)... but there's also weeds to pull and all sorts of other things you can do. Follow this up with a bonfire or something as simple as a night lying on a blanket watching for shooting stars... that makes it rewarding afterwards and it becomes a less dreadful thing to do! Yard clean? Go pick up the garbage along the street in your neighborhood... reward yourselves after if the simple idea of doing something good for your community isn't enough!

10. Trip to the zoo... another one of our Pokemon Go pleasures, but even without walking the zoo is a pretty fun thing to do. They do offer season passes for the zoo which makes it a little less expensive if you will go frequently, but now that Robert's 11 this is something we don't do as often because it's lost the amusement that it had when he was 5 or 6 years old... but still fun... especially when there are special events, activities, or attractions that keep it from being mundane.

11. Amusement Parks... now this is the most time consuming and most expensive activity that we do as a family... but it's been the most rewarding and the most fun. Not everyone wants to ride rides, I understand that, but if you and your kids do then seriously look into season passes for the park closest to you. For us, we live by Michigan's Adventure and less than 4 hours from Cedar Point so we've invested in season passes for the last two years. You can purchase the passes and pay over time so it's super convenient, plus you can add meal passes and buy a refillable cup so it doesn't have to break the bank AT ALL! I think for the two of us we pay about $75 a month just for our passes and add ons and as often as we can go it pays for itself in just a few visits... huge huge huge savings for us and what's more rewarding physically than walking miles through a park all day?

Right now we've got 2 weekends left that we can utilize our passes to the amusement park... it's getting colder... and we're dreading the "dark season" as well call it. We're looking for ideas and ways to keep busy during the winter months and so far this is what we've come up with...

Lazer Tag is another one of our fun things to do, but it's $20 per person on the nights they have the "unlimited" wrist band sale thing at our local Lazer Tag / Go Kart place so we don't do it often... it is a bit much on our budget, but it's a fun option for winter when we NEED the exercise and are spending less on OTHER outdoor activities.

Sledding... it's fun to slide down a hill.. PERIOD. I don't care how old you are. And climbing up that hill every time is a hell of a way to keep warm and get a good work out in. I used to sit in the car while Robert did it with his friends or brothers, but now... I'm out there with him having a blast!

Skiing... we just discovered this the past winter when the park here was offering a REALLY cheap rate on Sundays for admission and equipment rental. We got one of my other two sons to go with us and we LOVED IT... we're really looking forward to going back this year! This year we're going to look into "season passes" to see if that's more beneficial to us financially than what we did the previous year.

Rollerskating... it's indoors... it's moderately priced... and it's a HELL of a work out! We have a few skating rinks near us... one we don't care for but the other is amazing and he has grown to love going, and I can't deny the nostalgia of going for me is absolutely awesome.

Swimming in the winter is not impossible... check with your local high school they may have swimming activities that are pretty inexpensive during the winter.

A gym membership during the winter for me is a good idea, but a KID doesn't belong in a gym. We are considering a membership to the YMCA for the swimming and such, but last time I checked that was pretty expensive so I doubt that'll be an option for us. I know they have programs for low income families and such, but alas... while we don't have much to work with, we make too much for stuff like that.


Ultimately, there are endless possibilities as far as ways to get you and your kids off your asses and be active. There's NO REASON not to. I've listed over 15 things that we like to do and do often. There's more... and while some of our activities might not interest certain people or families, there are lots of activities we could do that don't interest us. For example: walking the mall and window shopping might be a fun one for some, but definitely not me or my boys.

If your kid is fat or getting there than seriously, stop buying shit food and enabling it. Take them outside and do something WITH THEM. Stop letting them do what they want, and stop getting them everything they ask for because they want it and start being a parent and give them what's best for them and not what they want you to think will make them happy. Your kid will not DIE immediately if they don't get that Zebra Cake or donut they think they can't live without... but if you give in and cave every time they ask for something fatty and sugary then when they're 30 years old contemplating weight loss surgery and hating themselves... it will be YOUR FAULT.